How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, Hi my name is Roy H. I am currently at the Phelan men’s ranch and here’s part of my testimony of how Jesus has changed my outlook on life.
The first time I ever felt the presence of God in my life, I was only a toddler. Our family used to go out to the Santa Ana River to go harvest crawfish back in the day before it became polluted. I must have been about three or four years old when I saw my father go into the river and went in after him. No one saw me. I remember walking in then suddenly going under. I didn’t know how to swim, but instead of panicking, I felt this sense of peace and comfort. I remember being under water looking up towards the surface and seeing a bright light. I could rationalize and say it was the sun, but there is no doubt in my mind it was Gods presence. I didn’t gasp for air, panic, or even feel scared, just peace. As continued on going down stream I remember going under a log. After passing the log I was suddenly lifted out of the water and was in my father’s arms. I don’t remember what happened after that day but it was an experience I will never forget.
I come from a family of seven. I have six sisters I am the youngest and the only boy. I was raised Catholic and lived a comfortable childhood, thanks to the hard work of my father. He worked as a dairy man for over thirty five years. I am first generation Chicano. My family is from Juarez Chihuahua Mexico. I lived most of my life in the city of Cucamonga California. Growing up during my teenage years in the early 90’s when gangbanging was at its peak there. It is by shear miracle that I am still alive. Unfortunately, I have had lots of friends how have fallen do to gang violence. I escaped most of the violence by getting married and having four girls. Being a father, soccer coach, a business owner, and having a house of my own was the best time of my life. But due to my arrogance and not appreciating my wife, also due to an economic strain. Mostly to my stupidity I let that slip away. So I regressed to what my only comfort was drugs, sex, and alcohol. I got really bad and starting hanging out with some old friends. About ten years ago I had my true close friend, died right in front of me by several gun shoot wounds. In fact I would say he saved me and another’s life the way things went down. I decided that I was going to honor his sacrifice and start anew life so I came to the high desert.
My experience here in the high desert was not what I expected. It was first hard getting accepted here being from down the hill. Phelan is a small community and seems that everyone either knows each other or is somehow related. Not being from around here it was hard to fit in so I resorted to a common ground which was drugs. I started selling a bit, but mostly using. I found myself around with lots of so called friends for the most part how were using me of course but I was using them also for companionship.
It seems God had another plan for me. My decline continued and my addiction took me too new lows. I had lost all self respect, respect of my family, and respect of my daughters. I had nothing to live for. Everyone I had ever loved ended up hating me or shunned me. People would try to minister to me but everlasting life was not appealing to me for all I felt was disappointment, and shame.
One day I received a call from my youngest daughter. She begged me to stop what I was doing because I was killing myself. I believe god used her to talk to me for she hasn’t spoke to me for some time and had no clue what I was doing to myself. So I came to the ranch not for myself but for a promise I made to her.
Since then I have met a new friend and savior Jesus Christ. I have become a new creation; all the old things have passed away, and walking in the newness of Christ my Lord. Being born again means to me erasing everything I have learned in this world and returning back to a mindset of a child. From that point raising myself as a man of God who I was meant to be.
A brother told me something that I’ll never forget. It is a proven fact that our daughters will marry someone like their father. So I must become that man that I would want my daughter to marry. Where this s roads goes from here only God knows and I put all my trust in him and he guide my path. So where did I finally find the unconditional love God, well here at the ranch but most importantly in the mirror.
May peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be upon you all and may he smile upon your lives