All of my life I have believed in God but held it inside because I was scared of what people would think and it confused me which led me on a road I was never comfortable on . 1 John 3:1 See how great a love the father has bestowed on us that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it does not know Him. On June 17th 2014 I came to the women’s ranch hoping if I turned to the Lord I would find true love. And what an amazing experience, I have the ultimate love I could ever imagine in the lord. 2 Corinthians 9:7: Each one must do just as he purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion. On December 22, 2014 I came back on a refocus then walked on January 17, 2015 being led on my own understanding and believing in a false love from MAN 1 John 2:15 Do not love the world nor the thing in the world. If anyone loves the world the love of the father is not in him. I couldn’t figure out where I failed God .1 John 4:19: We love because He first loved us..On September 11, 2018 the one and only person I loved passed away of throat cancer and my life I thought was over I became so broken and angry the world that I realized God was calling me. He freed me of all that was coming between the intimate relationship that I have been yearning for with him. Deuteronomy 6:5 :You shall love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Finally I came back again on November 01, 2018. This has been completely different. I have been able to completely focus on my personal relationship with God and I am learning to be obedient to His word. I am able to allow my spirit to be guided by the Holy Spirit through my acceptance of the Lord there have been doors opened for me. I am putting complete faith in God December 30, 2018 I will bless out and start my new life a new generation and a woman of God.