My names Josiah Ramirez I’m twenty years old from Barstow ca I knew of god growing up but once I got in Jr High that slowly faded away I just went to church once in awhile to make my family happy it was always for my benefit never for the right reason. I started smoking weed when I was 12 and from there it progress by the time I was a freshman in high school I was taking any pill I could get my hand on to get by. God was totally out of the picture then, I had to be high when I was at school I didn’t think I had a problem at all. My parents always caught me smoking weed but they didn’t have a clue what else I was doing but that didn’t last too long eventually the lying and stealing started to catch up with me. A bottle of my sister’s pain meds came up missing they asked if I had them I said no. A couple weeks later my mom finds the bottle empty in my backpack from then on they knew. It got worst I found myself looking in my family’s medicine cabinets stealing money from them always in trouble, mad at them for no reason just because I didn’t want to hear it. I finished out high school and graduated in 2016 I was 17 that’s when I got introduced to alcohol along came cocaine with it I was making my own money then so I thought it was ok since I’m not using mom and dad’s. Soon I was doing coke everyday which carried on through work at night then the cycle began back again I started doing anything to get money for my fix my parents started to realize something was up I was never eating always gone my checks would be gone in a couple days. So my dad started to ask for rent since I wasn’t saving. That just meant to me I only have three hundred dollars to spend on drugs now instead of six.  I started to save and bought my first car that only lasted a couple months before I wrecked it due to drinking and driving. That should of drawn the line there but it didn’t, not to long after that I stopped coke and traded it for the bottle If I wasn’t missing work I was drunk at work I soon lost my job and got another  my parents told me I had a problem and should get help so I left that job and went to a rehab for a month that was the longest I had been sober about two weeks after I got out of there I was back to drinking. I got my old job back and started working there again everything was going good but not for long I stopped showing because getting drunk and high were more important to me so l lost that job again and came to the ranch for the first time. I accepted jesus Christ into my heart I finally felt a sense of peace that I had never felt before. I slowly started to drift away while I was here I was just in a rush to get out I blessed out back home parents thought I was doing great but I let them down once again they let me use the car for a haircut the first place I went was to the liquor store I decided to come back but of course I had to be drunk the next morning I woke up at the ranch angry the day after that  I walked I didn’t want to deal with my problems. So I went back home and things were going good for about three weeks scored another job started working again but something was missing started to come home drunk got kicked out and was living in a motel stuck in the bottle a Sunday morning I woke up sick to my stomach and said to myself what are doing with yourself I want that peace again that I had the first time I was here. So I packed up and had my mom drop me back off at the ranch. And this time around im both feet in i learned to let everything go I was still holding on to some stuff from my past. Ive learned not to be doubled minded and let my yes be yes and my no be no. Gods been answering my prayers and opened up a door for me down in San Clemente to further his kingdom its just amazing how he works I would of never thought that’s were I would be headed . all along Jesus was the answer to all my problems I would’ve never thought im sure glad I found him I hope someone reading this can do the same. This is just the beginning of a long journey I cant wait to see what the lord has in store it wont always be easy  but Phiippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me amen.